I Swear, Really I Do! (The F Word and Overuse)

I happened to run across a thread discussing graphic language in blog posts.  Some people were against all foul language and some said anything goes, depending on the blogger's personality.  I tend to agree with the latter, thinking that if someone is offended by the language or subject matter they will just move on and not read that blogger anymore.That does not mean I want to read blogs that have graphic language in every sentence.  Nor does it mean I want things squeaky clean.  I also realize that one persons tolerance level is much difference from the next persons. 

What DOES disturb me are two things.  The first is how so many people (regardless of age group) use the f-word in just about every single sentence they utter.  Remember how some people used to say "um" or "you know" constantly?  It seems to now be replaced with f*ck. Now, I will admit that I use the word.  Because it is so flexable, I probably use it more than I should.  I do feel it gives a flavor and strengthens a sentence at times.  It can also be quite humorous. But, may God give me a hard kick in the pants if I ever get so limited in my vocabulary that I have to use it as verb, noun, adjective, and adverb in every single sentence I utter.

I have a newsflash for those people that do.  You may think you are shocking, but the word f*ck is no longer "cutting edge" and hasn't been for decades.  We took care of that in the 60's (for better or worse).It can make a strong statement ONLY if you don't use it as often as, say, the word "the". You sound like a total fool and imbecile when you use it in every sentence.  Like a hillbilly in the back hills with several teeth missing and twelve rusted out cars on your front lawn (or lack thereof). The word is no longer "cool" or whatever word means "cool" now.  It is simply a word. So, get over it and use it like you use an herb or spice. Sparingly. For special emphasis.  Not as a main dish.

The second? How people (no matter the age group, I have heard plenty of 50 and 60 year olds do this) use this word in work situations! In conference calls, group meetings, banquets, fund raisers...nothing is exempt! This is simply another example of how selfish we have become as a society.  "I use this word, so everyone better get used to it."  I am sorry, but when you are in a professional situation, or a gathering where there are people whose background you don't know, it should be a given that you don't try to offend. There are religious people and other people who ARE offended by this and, no, they should not get over it.

I know it must be extremely difficult for these cursing people to believe, but the whole world does NOT have to adapt to their standards.  Amazing, isn't it. And please don't tell me that "this is who you are".  You also have body odor after working in the yard all day, and your hair gets greasy.  That's "real", dear. Does that mean you don't clean up before attending work or an event?  Well, clean up your mouth, too.

Is the word f*ck that important to you that you willingly lose out on some valuable new contacts, contributions, donations, invitations, and cause alienation of employees in order to show off your freedom of speech?  Rein in your tongue during these types of events.  Surely you have a large enough vocabulary that you can come up with something acceptable to everyone.  If you can't, please take a community education course in English 101.

Yes, I can be crude. Yes, I use bad language in my personal life, and in my blogging life (although I don't think I have used the f-word in my blogs).  But I have to tell you that when I did a GoToMeeting or a conference call, I refrained.  My cover letters don't call the company a f*cking great place to work. Neither should you tell ME that we need to f*cking sell the daylights out of a new product, or ask me what the f*ck I was thinking if you are my superior.  You are supposed to be an example, not a buddy.

Thank you. In fact, thank you very much...and please note I did not add the f word when thanking you.  I think you still got the message.

Shut your mouth! (A Pet Peeve)

What are some of your pet peeves?  I have several, but I think my biggest is this: people talking with food in their mouth.  Or chewing without keeping their mouth closed.  Gross.  Yuck.  Unfortunately, it has become an epidemic.

There have been all kinds of articles written on the lack of manners in society now.  It has been a gradual erosion as we become a more relaxed culture.  Will someone please explain to me why "relaxed" has to also mean "uncouth"?  Can't one be relaxed and still be tactful and gracious?  But, I digress. 

I have always been nauseated by the sight of someone talking with food in their mouth, or chewing with their mouth open.  You see their food in various stages of breakdown, saliva bubbling, and morsels spinning around like old rags in a front load washer.  Food stuck on teeth, perhaps some flying out onto the table or even another person.  Once the food gets chewed up enough it looks like vomit.  Vomit whirling around for others to watch, ruining their own meal. 

Perhaps you don't even realize you do it.  I am amazed at the number of people that do this.  I would say that for the last three years it has grown to epidemic proportions.  Am I in the minority in not wanting to watch people break down their food?  Maybe I am wrong.  I thought a restaurant or dinner party was a place to enjoy myself and share pleasantries, not a biology class.
(Speaking of which, spare me the stories about puke-baby or otherwise- and not being able to shit, or who had bad diarrhea, while dining in a public place or at the table, please. It may not bother you to talk about runny bowels, but it does make others upset.  But, again, I digress.)

Why do so many people talk with food in their mouth?  Chew with their mouth open?  I think it is because they take too big of bites, eat too fast and are hogging it down like pigs at a trough, and one other reason.  Maybe they believe that they have such important, enlightening things to say that others can't wait for their utterances to be spoken.  Yes, they have thoughts and ideas so unique and unusual that the rapt listeners won't mind seeing their slimy mush gyrating around while they bless others with their viewpoints.

  I have news for you.  You are not the most important person in the world, nor are you the most important person in the room.  As earth shattering as your thoughts may be, we can all wait for you to chew up your food and swallow.  Hey, even if someone asks you a question while chewing, you can smile and point to your CLOSED mouth and chew.

Or-newsflash-if you must answer, USE YOUR NAPKIN! Yeah, it is meant for more than sitting on the table. It goes in your lap and THEN if you MUST talk with food in your mouth (perhaps a server is waiting for an answer), you (GASP!) pick up the napkin and HOLD IT IN FRONT OF YOUR MOUTH while answering!  That way the rest of us don't have to see your half chewed pizza!  Isn't the napkin an amazing invention?

I also think people who eat alone a lot don't use their good manners and then it simply becomes habit.  Maybe it is not such a bad idea to practice eating with good manners even when alone.  That way people might actually want to dine with you more than once.

It is not just unruly teenagers, elderly, or uneducated people that do this.  I see many businessmen, professionals, teachers, parents....all chewing away (talking or not) with their mouth wide open.  Advertising their half broken down meal for all the world to see.  You look awful.  It may seem like I am too uptight, but it really is you that it reflects on.  You look gross and unkempt.  Sorry.  But you do.

So, next time you are at the table, do us all a favor.  Shut your mouth.  Please! When you are not chewing (if you can pause to take a breath before hogging down the next forkful) feel free to converse.  Just don't make us watch the horror movie in your mouth.  Thank you.