Eye Candy. What Makes YOU Hot?

Okay, this indie author was all set to blog about never underestimating a grandma and all of a sudden an email came. A writer friend mentioned that he wondered if it was good or bad to have people on book covers, as who he finds hot another might not. Well, never one to shy away from thinking (and sharing!) about what looks get me going, I shot him back an email...and decided to blog about same subject.

So this blog is for fun. It's trite and shallow. It's about looks only. Yeah, we know other things are just as, or more, important. So what? Let's have some fun. It's probably surprising to some that a fifty some year old woman would still even think about this, but let me assure you that never stops. Not according to what I hear from older friends.

Anyway, I remember reading posts with lots of replies on boards about people on covers. It seemed to end up about 50/50. Some people want them, some want to imagine how the character looks. Most, I'm wagering, still do that even with a picture of the character on the cover. But my friend was right. What I think is sexy in looks may be the opposite for you.

I am attracted to men and here are my likes and dislikes:

 Hair color doesn't matter. Hair length doesn't matter, as long as it goes good with the face and, if long, it's nice hair. Thin, straggly long hair turns me off. Nice long hair is gorgeous, no matter the length.

If a guy has feminine eyelids (Paul McCartney eyelids, the kind most women have) instead of deep-set eyes where you don't see the lid, that is a plus to me. Soulful. Yummy.

Muscles? Um, no thanks. At least not the kind body builders have. They look bulky and cloddish, and like they can hardly move. Clumsy in bed. Ick. But slight muscles, or swimmer/gymnast muscles are a turn-on. They are muscular, but not big globs of muscle. Long, lean muscles instead of bulky. Yes, thank you.

And what's with the muscle thingys on body builders that make their neck connect to their shoulders like slumped shoulders. I HATE that look. I like straight shoulders, not an upside down V thing.

I don't really care for hairy chests, but if I loved someone who had one it would be okay. I wouldn't expect them to shave it, what a hassle.

And I do love me some pretty boy. Yup. There it is, out in the open. A guy that looks pretty or androgynous is a huge turn-on to me. He looks creative, kinky, adventuresome, and like he'd be one hell of a lot of fun in bed and out. A little make-up and an earring? All the better. Oh, let's experiment on each other. Please. Yeah, that guy doesn't play by the rules, and I'm so glad he doesn't. "Oh, you prefer men? That's okay. I'll watch and take photos." (Yeah. Another fantasy of mine. I probably should of warned you at the beginning. You're thinking, "Oh my God, Caddy...did she just admit that in public?" Hey, I'm human. We all have our kinks, even if we don't act on them. Sigh.)

For me, the ass is the sexiest part of a man, with eyes a close second.  Give me a nice, firm ass and Paul McCartney eyes with guy-liner on them and you've got a deal. The big deal of the day. And it's all behind curtain three!

Men in uniform: military, cops or firemen do NOT turn me on. In fact, quite the opposite. I have always fought authority (and just like the song, authority always wins. Usually.) and so those men do nothing for my libido. Suffice it to say we've never played cop in our bedroom. And never will. Unless Dave wants me to be the cop. Then we might talk.

All through grade school I had this almost rabid fear that I would be sent to boarding school, put in jail, or forced into the military. I knew I would die because I wouldn't fall into line. It would be a slow death, too. When I thought about these things my stomach hurt so bad I couldn't sleep. Don't ask me why the military because "girls" didn't often go into the military then. But I knew males got drafted and I remained certain they'd change it at any time, just to torture me. Yeah, authority figures and I don't get along much. That probably also explains why I was self-employed most of my life.

Well, I didn't marry a pretty boy, but he did make the grade. He had nice, defined muscles from farm work, but not bulky. He had a slender, slighter build and a damn fine ass. Great, straight shoulders. The sexiest eyes I'd ever seen, even without the Paul McCartney lids. And that smile? Ah, man. When he smiles all bets are off. I'll even put away my police handcuffs then.

However, the dude won't let me put make-up on him. Ah, well. Nobody is perfect.

How about you? What kind of looks turn you on and what looks do the opposite? I'd love to know!

Caddy Rowland is a novelist and painter. Her social media links follow.

To find out about her novels visit http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B005FW8BZE

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What turns you on? (And this time, I mean sex)

As an indie author who writes dramatic stories about life and relationships, I many times need to write sex scenes. So, this "What turns you on" blog is about sex and romance.  You don't have to offer every intimate detail, but what turns you on?

I am curious.  Do most females really go for the syrupy romance?  I know I sure don't.  Yes, candlelight and roses are wonderful.  Kissing in a whirlpool in front of a fireplace is cozy.  Holding hands and watching ocean waves is delightful.  But none of that turns me on.

Don't get me wrong, it is not that I am not a romantic.  I just find romance not sexy. I love romance because it makes me feel appreciated and loved.  It is also an opportunity to show my husband how much he means to me in poetic ways.  It just won't get him a woman that is charged up for more heated things. Not one bit. Romance is romance.  And sex, glorious sex, is supposed to be sex.

Some friends of mine talk about certain famous guys and how they fantasize about laying on the sand at the beach, arms entwined and kissing.  Those visions are their ultimate turn-ons.  Not me.  If that is the best the man can do to show me how hot he is for me he will end up with me asleep and him alone with his hand.  Yawn.

I must have been a man during my last life.  Maybe most of them.  I don't look masculine.  I don't act manly.  But, damn. Cut the hearts and flowers and give me some raw sex! Talk dirty to me (not crude, show some intelligence and creativity.  Okay, sometimes crude is good, too), show me how out of control I make you, don't be afraid to go at it with gusto.  I am not a piece of crystal.  I am a woman and I want you to be a man. THAT will turn me on. Please note: I am NOT talking about taking a woman that does not want to be taken.  That is rape, and that is NOT a turn-on. 

Whenever I have daydreamed about a man, let me tell ya...we are NOT kissing.  We may be on the beach, but we are not sufficiently dressed.  There is a element of danger, of being caught.  We are dirty, we are needy and we could care less about being nice.  Or, we may be in a four poster bed with satin sheets, but it could just as easily be in the dressing room at Macy's or in the woods of a public park. The point is urgent need, not a movie scene for shrinking violets.

Forget "give me liberty or give me death".  Give me sex or give me a damn good reason why you feel like I have to be put on a pedestal in order to enjoy me.  And trust me, that reason won't turn me on. But if you ask me to pull off the freeway and ... Well, I promise you, that will.

What turns you on/off? Part 1: In a friend

As an indie writer, I need to be aware of differences in personality in order to make sure that all of my work does not have the same main character.  I thought it would be fun to share the different things I like and don't like, and then ask you to let me know yours.  This will be broken into different blogs. Today I am talking about what traits make you want to associate with someone and what traits make you want to bop them in the mouth or run away.

One of my biggest turn-offs in regard to hanging with someone is inability to make a decision. Come on, man, choose! I can understand something huge and life changing needing a bit of thought, but what ice cream flavor to get?  This is not going to make or break the rotation of the planet. I find myself avoiding hesitant people as much as possible. For me, their inability to make a decision is like fingernails on a chalkboard.

I will admit that I make decisions too quickly at times.  That has caused some big mistakes in my life.  On the other hand, I learned some valuable things from those mistakes.  The things I learned help me make similar decisions better - and still quickly! If someone thinks so little of their ability to choose that they fool around for a substantial amount of time, I am outa there.  By the time they finally choose ice cream, I have had a cone, a night's sleep, and have worked a full day.

How about people that have to go into extreme detail?  I don't care to know the color and pattern of the drapes in your Aunt's home.  Just cut to the broken leg. Can you tell that I am a person that likes things to move along?

Liars also drive me crazy. What is the point about lying about what you had to eat last night? Or what clothes you bought last Saturday?  I don't get it.  Then, when you point out that they said one thing, but did another, guess what?  They are offended and ask if you are calling them a liar.  Yes!  I am!

Oh God...don't get me started with braggers.  ZZZZZZZZZ.  Need I say more?

What turns me on to a friendship? Someone who knows who they are, but does not shove it down my throat.  They express their opinion and then listen to mine.  Listening is a rare gift few of us have learned.  I know I could stand some improvement there.  I bet almost all of us could.

I also like people who don't treat service workers rudely.  People who are not the loudest person in the bar or restaurant.  And people who actually remember to ask about life events that come up. In other words, I like people who treat others like they want to be treated. 

Most of all, I like people who have an open mind and are inquisitive about where we come from, why we are here and where we are going. That makes for interesting conversations and wonderful possibilities.

What about you?  What traits appeal to you and which ones don't?