What Fun! Winter Driving In Minnesota

This indie author is one happy ol' girl today. Why? Because the Twin Cities got it's first "snow event" for the winter (Yes, it took until February 28th and we are very spoiled this year!) and she is sitting inside, not having to drive. I spent years as a road warrior on the freeways of the metro area selling print advertising. Seventeen years to be exact and not one accident. Thankfully.

Because of that I am very familiar with what happens during the first major snow of the season. First, you have the drivers that go five miles an hour on the freeway because a few random flakes are coming down. No, it is not slippery; and no there is not a problem with visibility. These could be people new to the area from warmer states. Yes, I would like to think that.  Unfortunately, too many of them have Minnesota license plates. Every year a certain percentage of people are totally taken off guard when a snowflake drops in the Land of the Frozen Tundra. Imagine! Snow in Minnesota!

Then we have the "let's hit the brake every 5 to 10 seconds to make sure I can stop, regardless of how many cars are behind me" and the "I can change lanes without looking or using a blinker AND I don't have to have more than two feet between cars to get in there...because I have SUPER POWERS! Of course, these people are on the freeway day in and day out, until they finally total enough cars that they get the message.  Hopefully they don't kill too many other people in the meantime.

Next is the macho man (or woman) with the pick up truck or SUV with 4 wheel drive. It does not matter if there is solid ice on the road! No! Their 4 wheel drive is special. It can go 70 miles an hour on ice!!! No other vehicle has been known to be able to do this, but they are the exception. Yup. They sure are. They fall into the exceptional ahole category. Thank you for risking other peoples lives while you try to make up for having a short...ah, never mind. Trying to be a bit less earthy.  For maybe two minutes.

Lastly we have the old reliable tailgator. They show up rain, sleet, snow and sun. It does not matter the weather, these folks need love so badly that they want to attach themselves to your bumper. It makes them feel like they belong. Oh, they belong. I am just not saying where.

Yes, it is a carnival on the freeways every time it snows! Stuntmen, barkers, magicians...spine tingling thrills every minute! I am so glad I did not have to buy a ticket to the carnival today. Can't say I miss Mr. Macho or Ms. Ineedafriend one bit.

Happy Driving. I think I will have another hot buttered rum and light the fire.
Then I will continue writing, while Mr. Super Powers once again performs his magic tricks on I-94.

Wanderlust Movie Should Wander Off, Along With The Grey

Dave and I decided to go to the movie last night.  We had seen previews for Wanderlust and thought it might be funny.  So, off we went.  Tickets were bought, popcorn was bought, and we settled in.

This time the reviews were right. Wanderlust was a disappointment.  Very cliche, very predicable.  On a scale of 1 to 10 we both agreed that it was a 4 at best.  What was Jennifer Anniston thinking when she took this part?  If this is the best Hollywood can do for a comedy then please stop making them!  Sure, we laughed a couple of times.  But, all in all, it was mundane.

This is the second time in about a month we have been disappointed.  Last time we thought we were going to see The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.  I went to get the popcorn while Dave stood in line for tickets.  Soon Dave came running up to me, telling me that the movie we wanted to see was no longer playing there.  I had the popcorn, so we decided to see The Grey.  The write-up had sounded quite good.

B-o-r-i-n-g! Liam Neeson, really? This is the best part you could find?  Talk about tedious.  Yeah, yeah, a handful of you survived a plane crash.  Yeah, yeah, wolves are after you.  We know.  Believe me, we know.  And after about 45 minutes we simply do not care.  I wanted to scream "Eat the damn humans already so we can go home!"  I wanted to ask Dave to leave, but figured maybe he wanted to stay so I said nothing.  When we were leaving, Dave said he almost asked me to leave about 45 minutes into it, too.

There was nothing suspenseful or anxiety ridden about The Grey.  It was torture, but only because it was so unexciting.  I could not care about any of the characters for some reason and because of that I really did not care what happened to them.

At least we saw The Descendants in between these two.  That was excellent.  We also saw The Vow which was an okay date movie. Not anything you have to see, but fair.

Thankfully the theatre we go to is only $4.00 per ticket, and they use real butter on their popcorn.  When we see a movie that disappoints us it is nice to know we had not taken out a bank loan to buy the tickets. 

Next time I am bored at a movie I am going to nudge Dave and ask if he wants to go home.  For $4.00 each it just isn't worth the tedium of sitting through yet another Wanderlust or The Grey. I can sleep in my recliner at home!

Eating Half of What You Order

For the past couple of months I have been trying to eat less food.  Some weeks are more successful than others.  It has been a gradual undertaking.  I try, for instance, to only eat half of what I order in a restaurant.  I have gotten much better at that this last month. I just seem to remember easier. 

I seem to remember easier because my body tells me more clearly that I have had enough.  It really has helped to do that, even though at first I would only remember to do it every so often.  Now it has become almost a routine.  I think the next time I go out I will just ask for the to go box when I order.  That way I can put half of everything in there right away and won't have to hope I think about it.

I don't know if I will lose weight from this but I would think so. I mean, I am eating half of what I used to eat, right? The other half serves as lunch or dinner another day or night. I do know I fell a lot better when I eat less at sitting. I have more energy and don't feel that infamous "crash and burn" most people feel after they have stuffed themselves

Speaking of having the other half for lunch or dinner another time, I don't think there is anything more boring than thinking up a lunch for one.  Since I write, I am home pounding on the keyboard and suddenly I am hungry.  I have to tell you, I am sick to death of yogurt, soup, deli salads, cheese sandwiches.  Yawn.  Maybe a couple raw veggies on the side.  Yawn again.  Throw some Cheetos or Fritos on there.  Yawn once more.  Even the fattening "same old" is "same old". Therefore, I am pretty darn excited when I have a half of a restaurant meal waiting for me!

We ate out with relatives Saturday, and I happily packaged up half of my bourbon burger and fries.  (Yes, I know they are fattening.  I am trying to eat less, not bore myself into a coma.)  My brother-in-law even gave me his portion of homemade bbq kettle chips.  Great!  Those would be used for yet another time.  Then we got into the SUV.  Dave and I were in the back.  I checked my to go box and it was firmly on the seat in between us.  I reached for my seatbelt...you guessed it.  The box went sailed to the floor of the car.  Opened right up and deposited the food directly into dust and ice melt.

Goodbye exciting lunch today. How I longed for my half of bourbon burger!  But, alas, it was only a tease of a memory as I choked down another cheese sandwhich.  Yawn.  Almost made me wish I had kept it, ice melt and all.

Love Songs or Obsession?

As an indie author it only stands to reason that I pay attention to words.  Even as a teenager, the lyrics of popular songs meant even more to me than the music.  My husband is the opposite.  He likes songs for the beat or the melody.  Most of the time he does not know the lyrics.  Of course, he used to play the drums, so that makes perfect sense.

I used to think about how the lyrics showed undying love for a person.  How romantic, I thought.  Then I noticed something.  Most of the words to songs about love aren't about love at all.  They are about obsession.  They are about the person singing the song; all the things another person makes them feel.

Pay attention this week to lyrics.  Love is about what you can do for another person to make them happy or make their life more wonderful.  It is not about what they can do for you or how they make you feel.  Sure, it is great to feel those things, but that is not love.  It can be unhealthy romance.  It can be lust.  But in itself, those feelings are not love.  Love, you see, is not narcissistic or selfish.  Lust and "in love" can very much be those two things.

Why do we categorize possessive songs and songs about fixation as love songs? Maybe that partly explains why so many young girls put up with abusive boyfriends.  Do they think that it is love that drives those boyfriends to wanting to control their every move?  Do they think that means the guy worships them?

I don't know.  But I always found it creepy that Every Breath You Take by Sting was considered a romantic song that people rushed out onto the dance floor to celebrate.  Really?  Every breath you take, every step you make, I'll be watching you.  Ummm. Ok. Thanks for giving me a heads up that I need to call the cops.

Songs about how someone makes the person feels.  Songs about how they want to spend every second with you.  Songs about how you are on their mind every minute of every day.  Songs about how all they do is dream about you.  Hey, I like being important.  But I don't want to be a butterfly pinned to a piece of pager for anyone to admire.  Sorry.  My wings are meant for flying.

We need to remember that we all need to fly.  Once in awhile, often if we are lucky, we fly with another.  But they never clip our wings.  And they never cause us to crash to the ground when we go off for awhile on our own.

Love isn't about owning another person.  It is about allowing them the freedom to fully live and thrive.  Love is about them, not you. Sometimes you are fortunate enough that real love is reciprocated. That is when your heart really sings of love.  And the lyrics are beautiful.

Gideon Grows (The Pleasure of Watching a Baby Grow)

Some of you may remember when I posted about the baby being born next door.  I had posted that Gideon was born in August and we became grandparents to him, since his blood grandparents are all out of state.  (See Loving Gideon).

This has been quite an experience for two childless by choice free spirits!  Gideon is now six months old.  What fun it has been to see the changes that occur in six short months!  Since we did not have children we really have not been part of that.  Sure, we saw other people's babies, but we didn't see them even monthly all of the time.  To see a baby a couple of times a week is amazing!

Gideon is now eating rice cereal, carrots and peas.  I have fed him all of those and it is a joyful experience.  How someone can get so excited about mashed up peas is puzzling...but I enjoy seeing such pure, uncomplicated pleasure. 

He can also roll over from front to back and keep rolling.  No more leaving the room when he is on floor.  He is extremely interested in trying to hoist himself up.  Soon, he will be crawling and then this Grandma will be in for a lot more exercise every time she babysits.  I look forward to it, yet I hate seeing him leave that precious infant stage.

Gideon is teething.  I let him chew on my finger and it feels like there are several possible teeth coming, even in the back.  His mom says they got several teeth at once, so maybe that is what is going on here.  He can get a bit testy when his teeth are bothering him.  I call it "throwing an Appleton".  I don't know how many of you remember the cartoon Tom Terrific.  Crabby Appleton was the villian.  For some reason I LOVED Crabby Appleton.  I think it was because he was so expressive. Gideon is not nearly as crabby as I would think a teething baby would be.  Maybe that is yet to come.

Gampa Dave is a favorite of Gideon's.  How he smiles and laughs when Gampa plays with him.  When Dave is in the room, Gideon's has eyes only for him.  I am glad.  I know how much Dave loves him, and he does not get to see him as much as I do.

I babysit every Friday and sometimes other days or nights.  We usually get to see him at least two times a week.  I am trying to figure out how to kidnap him, but I am afraid Jen and Shon would know to check our house first.  Sigh. 

Besides, it is nice not to have the obligations, just the pleasures.  What fun it is to finally get to watch a person develop in all of their stages, but not have the constant responsibility or finanical obligations.  We can jump in the car and go places, sleep as late as we want; not worry as much as a parent.  Still, I now think about things that might be a danger to him.  Loving a child definitely changes your perspective on everything. 

Last Friday Gideon was showing me that he had discovered his tongue (photo is not Gideon).  He was proud to show it and would stick it out and then laugh.  I then would say "Your tongue!  Oh, look, Gideon's tongue!"  After a while, I asked "Show me your tongue." He did.  I tried several times and he would show it.  A new trick, compliments of Gamma Caddy and Gideon.

My nicknames for him are Gumdrop and Gid Kid.  I try to call him Gumdrop as much as possible because I know that soon enough he will rebel against that name, demanding that I stop calling him that.  Then it will be only a happy memory of baby times.

Babies. Aren't they something?  We used to roll our eyes whenever people went on and on about them...and now we know.  Still glad we did not have them, but damn.  Babies. Yeah, they are something special. I have a feeling Gideion will be very special to us his whole life.  And, even when he is 30, he will still be my Gumdrop.  I just won't tell him to his face.

Facebook Overload

As an Indie Author I have found Facebook invaluable for finding book reviewers and bloggers.  As any indie can tell you, reviews from bloggers and book reviewers are imperative to being taken seriously as an author.  Friends can, and do, write reviews for authors.  However, strangers can always tell when a review is biased.  Therefore, we authors spend many hours searching for reviewers and inquiring if our book can please be reviewed.  Facebook has helped a lot in that respect.

However, a few months back Facebook changed the look of the newsfeed.  Now so much information comes across that any personal friend's message is likely to get lost.  I thought I had solved it by making each of my contacts a "close friend".  Ha! I thought smugly, I will just click on close friends and lose a lot of the other stuff. 

Unfortunately, Facebook decided that I want to know every move each "close friend" makes.  I now have to see each comment they make on any of their other friends posts, even though I don't know those people.  I have to see every picture strangers post because a "friend" of mine commented on it.  This makes it impossible to catch everything someone says that I actually would like to comment on, unless I quit writing and painting so that can Facebook full time.  Therefore, I might as well not be on Facebook at all.

Plus it really feels like an invasion of privacy.  I don't think it is every friend of a friend's business what I say on Facebook, nor do they need to see everything I post.  Evidently others feel this way, too, because I am seeing a whole lot more of just generic sayings and photos being posted than I am original thoughts.  Why take the time to share your thoughts if they just get lost in all of the yada yada with strangers that Facebook decided we should care about?

Yeah, I know some people have said you "just hover over a persons name and click on something or another" and you won't see all of those extra posts.  Not only am I not sure if that will then also eliminate the comments I SHOULD see, but I simply don't have the time to do that to every contact I have on Facebook.  Unless you have about 10 friends on there it would take hours or days. 

I used to really love going on there.  Now it gets me tense.  Too much information by too many people I don't know and the fear that I am missing posts from people I do care about.  I post a lot of things about my writing.  I don't want my friends to think I am only interested in sharing MY stuff...but I am afraid it may look that way.  Of course, they may not see my stuff either.  I have noticed a drop off in commenta about anything I post, both professional and personal.  Unless you hang on facebook all day and make it your social center I think it is just too hard to look through the mess and find the posts to comment on.

I hear more changes are in the works.  So far, the changes have not been for the good.  I would like things back to clean and simple.  That way I could actually see what my contacts are saying and show them I give a damn by commenting more often.  So much for "social" networking.  This is just a bunch of information jammed down our throats and it is no longer effective or fun.