Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The Most Important Gift You Will Ever Open

 I am an indie author/publisher. I can say that because of a gift that I finally “got”; one that we all have, but usually don’t open. Curious? Good!

In 2010 I went for my annual physical. The routine blood tests all came back normal like usual, and I went on with my day. There was a gift waiting for me, one that had been there since I was born; but once again I failed to open it.

Then, my phone rang. I needed to come back in because my mammogram had something suspicious on it. After another mammogram and biopsy, I got another call. The call that finally got me to open my eyes…the call that finally got me to open the gift.

I had breast cancer. I could go on and on about my feelings, my fears, the surgery, the radiation, the healing; but that is not what this blog is about. This blog is about what getting cancer forces you to do. It forces you to finally open your eyes and see the gift that has been waiting for you from the moment you were born.

t is the gift of “now”.

I finally understood that anything that I wanted to accomplish in my life should not be put on a back burner for “someday”. ‘Someday’ is not guaranteed. We all run out of “someday” sooner or later. But I did (and do) have “now”. Nothing brings this home to us like the threat of no longer existing.

And so, once I was done with all of the radiation, I committed to writing five days a week, at least an hour a day. No matter what. Why? Because “now” is all I had; all any of us have.

I had always wants to write a novel. Had started a couple but never finished. This time, I knew that if I wanted it to happen, it was up to me to make sure that nothing stopped me.  Not even "someday".

Gastien Part 1: The Cost of the Dream was born from that. I self published for many reasons. I did not even try to go the traditional route. I wanted freedom. I did not want to wait (remember “now”?). I wanted to control my own destiny in regard to my writing. It came out for Kindle and Nook on August 1, 2011. Paperback arrived shortly after.

Gastien Part 2: From Dream to Destiny released the week of December 13th for Kindle and NOOK.  I am waiting for the paperback proof. I may never see the kind of success that Amanda Hocking, did...but if one Minnesota gal can do it, why not two?

I am not going to use this blog to talk about the saga/romance series of Gastien. You will find links above if you want more information. I simply want to share the gift of “now”.

I could never have imagined how exciting it would be to hold my own book in my hands! It is a feeling that I am glad I got to experience. Cancer did that for me. I had always heard there were blessings to cancer, but thought it was b.s. Not so. The gift of “now” is the greatest gift there is…and it is free and available to all of us.

The cancer is gone. It was caught very early and my doctor says to plan on eventually dying from something else. Yes, of course. No one gets out of here alive. That is why I am moving right into the third book in the Gastien series, but first taking time to make love to the color for a week (as Gastien called painting). It is time. Now!

I hope this each one of you reading this will accept the gift that has always sat there, waiting for you to open it. I can’t give it to you. Only you can. It is your gift of “now”.

Open it. Please.                       


  1. In a strange coincidence, I read your post in my feed reader and then read this next:


    Best wishes to you. My grandmother had breast cancer and my mother has a brain tumor. I know what it's like - at least, almost - when someone's life becomes all about 'now'.

    Jaime @ http://www.inkyblots.com

  2. Jaime,

    Thanks for the link. :) That was a good start to the day. I hope your mom is doing ok. Remember to fully live "now" with her!

  3. For some reason I assumed your grandmother was no longer alive, Jaime, because I am "older" and so I think of grandparents as gone...but if she is still alive I sure hope she continues to be cancer free!