Friday, July 20, 2012

Egads! Stop With The Little Girl Voice Already!

We all know at least one.  In fact, most of us run into several throughout our lives. This phenom is one of the most irritating, fakey apparitions walking the earth, and yet they are convinced that they sound sweet and sexy.  You know what I am talking about: women who talk like little girls.

I suppose there might be one or two adult women in the world with something legitimately wrong with their voice.  They are forced to talk for their whole life like a toddler in training pants who sucks their thumb.  Yeah, there might be one or two.  But of the most part, women who talk in sugary sweet baby voices are not fooling anyone.  They are generally NOT sweet and, if they are past age 3, they are definitely not babies.

Women, knock off the little girl voices! Listen, I know you think it is appealing and sexy.  Let me tell you something.  Until my late forties, ninety percent of the people I hung out with were male. Not one of those males told me that they found women who talked like five year olds sexy. They found them silly and a bit embarrassing to be caught dating. You see, the only males who find little girl voices attractive are attracted to...well...little girls. Are you hoping to date a pedophile? Do you really want to be made love to by a pervert? They're the ones who find little girl voices appealing.

Perhaps you think it makes you sound soft, feminine, and sweet.  It doesn't. It makes you sound silly, not to be taken seriously, and insincere. Most of us are on to you.  You see, we have heard your real voice when you aren't out in public or with a group of friends.  You can talk like a grown up and you can curse and bitch just like a real woman.  The fact that you pretend you can't makes you a liar. You are manipulative and that fact that you think you can trick people makes it hard to trust you.
I have known several women with little girl voices over the years.  Every single one of them could talk in a "big girl voice" and every single one of them was a horrible back stabber.  Your sweet, soft voice is a cover up for a mean spirit and a conniving heart.

Am I being too harsh?  Perhaps so. Still, women have fought long and hard to be taken seriously both in the career arena and in society.  We don't need our own kind undermining that by trying to sound like Marilyn Monroe.  Here's a newsflash for you: Marilyn Monroe was back in the fifties. Marilyn Monroe was a parody, and Marilyn Monroe was never taken seriously by either men or women.  It may be what ultimately killed her.

So, stop with the baby voice and - oh God I beg you - the bulging eyes.  Opening your eyes as wide as possible does not make them look bigger and you more appealing.  It makes you look like a walleye that has just been reeled in and is struggling for oxygen. And those injected, pouting lips? Sorry, but instead of sexy, you look like you need a trip to the ER for allergic reaction.

You are not a little girl.  In fact, you are not a big girl anymore.  You are a grown woman.  Grow up, get real, become honest and speak like one. Once you do, perhaps people will take you seriously, women will trust you, and men might even truly find you sexy. Trust me, you no longer need a daddy. Not unless you want to find yourself sitting alone while your "daddy" serves time in prison for his penchant for little girls.

Come now, dry your eyes and try it.  You can talk like an adult and all of us know it. You'll wub it.  I pwomise. Gitchy gitchy goo. Now take the bow out of your hair and become an adult. You'll be surprised at how good it feels to embrace the world as a real woman, and how wonderful it is for men to find you sexy as you really are.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Summertime and the Swimmin' is Easy

Ah, yes.  It is summertime, this indie author's of year. Slap me if you want to, but I love hot and humid weather. You see, we have a pool and we don't heat it. Because we don't have a heater we depend on the weather to warm it up, and there are a lot of trees in our neighborhood.  Many days the water temperature hovers around 74 degrees.

We don't mind that temperature.  In fact, it is far more refreshing then 80 degrees.  However, most people don't like it so we have given up inviting people over to our pool.  It gets tiresome listening to them bitch about the water temperature and mention that we should buy a heater.  Well, thank you for the suggestion! It would be great to spend about $1,500 for a heater and installation and then pay $500 a month so that YOU could enjoy our pool. 

It would be different if we didn't like the cooler water, but we do. Many times, though, we don't get completely wet. When I say "the swimming is easy" I am using the term "swimming" loosely.  We seldom actually swim. We stand in the water and watch birds, talk, and laugh.  Or float on pool chairs.  My husband can't sleep out there but I sure can.  There are few things in life I love more than tying my floating chair so that it stays put, me facing the sun, but and lower legs in water, and just sleeping.  Feeling that sun baking into me is heaven.  (Yes, I wear a good sunscreen.) I know that the sun can be bad for you, but it is also very healing. I wait until after 3pm to do this so that the sun is not at it's peak. Even with sunscreen, I try to be somewhat intelligent.
Oh, and beer.  Plenty of beer drinking and other drinking happens on our pool. People who don't mind our cooler water stop by, cheers are made and many a beverage is consumed over the course of the season.

Our grandson Gideon is only 10 months old and he loves the pool, even when it is 75.  He has his own baby inner tube and we watch him like a hawk, always within arm's reach. Not as many beers are drank then.  Not with a gumdrop in the water. If he smiles and enjoys the cooler water, not shivering or getting goosebumps why are so many adults unable to enjoy it? He is not in the tube long and then we are holding him and he gets to be lowered enough to kick in the water and laugh. What fun he has!

Actually, we don't mind.  We do love having people over, but it is also nice to just enjoy it ourselves (Gideon and parents included.  They are like family and "ourselves" will always include them.  When they come it is always better).  We are bird watchers and many an hour is spent wet and watching our feeders while standing in the pool.

But when the weather climbs into the 90's our pool warms.  Sometimes it is 80 to 85.  That is even more fun, because then we have water fights, Do some "swimming", stay more wet.  We play like dolphins in the warm water, and it is all the more sweet because it does not happen every day. This year is HOT so it happens more frequently than most.

We plan two to three weeks of vacation around the hottest time of the year to enjoy it. We are in the midst of a two week vacation right now and have another week only one week after Dave goes back to work and I go back to writing and painting.  July is playtime in the Rowland household.

We should have moved somewhere tropical so that we could swim every day. Some say it would lose that specialness, but I disagree. However, it would be a struggle to get anything done then because my swim chair would always be calling. I have to confess, the call of the swim chair would usually win out.

Ah, summertime, when the swimmin' is easy. How I love the sun, the water, the pool.  How I love being alive.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Freedom of Religion Means More Than Just Yours

There are certain groups of people lately who are loudly protesting that religion is being silenced in our country.  While that may be true, what is even more interesting is that they want their religion to be front and center, pounded down the throats of everyone, and the only religion publicly displayed.

How is this freedom of religion?  I am all for freedom.  I believe that freedom of religion is a right all of us are entitled to.  That means that if my religion is not yours, I am fully entitled to believing it, professing it, and living it. Freedom of religion does not mean you should be able to display Christian themed displays but other religions can't display theirs.  It does not mean that you are free to be Catholic or Lutheran, but not Islamic.  It does not mean you are free to believe in God but not free to be Atheist. People also have the right to worship Satan or Starbucks or whatever they wish.

See, the problem with those people who protest loudly about their freedom of religion is that they only want that freedom for those who believe in Christianity.  That is not freedom.  It is discrimination.

A month or so ago, I made light of Romney's religion believing in magic underwear.  A right winger scolded me about freedom of religion.  Yes, I agree that Mormons have the right to believe underwear protects them from Satan. However, the rest of us also have the right to publicly question things we find stupid, regardless of what religion practices it. Interestingly, the GOP embraces Romney's right to choose his religion, but some far rights want to keep trying to convince us that President Obama is Muslim.  Even if he was, isn't that his right? Or does freedom just apply to Republican candidates?

Truly, the religiousity of the majority of "Christians" has turned more people away from their religion in the last few decades than they have inspired.  Other people are tired of hearing why one Christian religion is right while another Christian religion is not "saved".  They are tired of seeing news about priests molesting boys but nothing is done, and the followers continue to support their church.  They are tired of so called "witnesses" abusing children and elders looking the other way (Silent Lambs). Other people go to jail for these heinous acts.  Not them.  People are just plain tired of so called "Christians" making a mockery of their religion and of our freedom.
Christ preached love, tolerance and forgiveness.  Most of us see very little of that coming from the majority of right wing "Christians" today. Those "Christians" are more interested in running to church, religious meetings, and being right than in actually making a difference in other peoples lives.  No, not unless there is a chance to convert those other people.  If there isn't, they can't waste a moment making lives better.  There are too many Bible verses they have to memorize and twist into their own self righteous meaning.

Freedom of religion.  Those that call loudly for it are the most guilty of wanting to disallow it from others. What would Jesus do indeed.  One thing I do know.  He wouldn't hate and he wouldn't exclude. The Bible says judgement is reserved for God. Funny how certain "Christians" conveniently forget that particular verse.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Why You SHOULD Talk About Sex, Religion, and Politics

Everyone has heard that you should refrain from talking about sex, religion, and politics.  When you really stop to think about that, doesn't it seem that "someone" wants to shut people up?  I mean, what are we supposed to talk about with others? Fashion? Celebrities? Other people?

Unfortunately, many people subscribe to this belief and do spend their time discussing mundane, and sometimes hurtful (as in talking behind people's backs) things instead of issues that matter.  Oh, yes, sometimes conversations get REALLY meaningful and there is discussion about childcare tips (nothing wrong with this sometimes between those interested, but...all of the time?) and recipes (don't we all have about ten million that we never have the inclination to make already?), or cars (deeply meaningful) and dirty jokes (increases brain power). And let's not forget sports! The result of a game truly affects most of our lives in major ways.

I happen to think that NOT talking about sex, religion, and politics is downright dangerous. You see, while you are busy discussing that awful dress that Amanda wore last week, people are busy somewhere making major life decisions for the whole country (and world).  Those decisions usually center around sex, religion, and politics.

If you stay quiet, others decide for you. They often decide in ways that are not beneficial. If you stay quiet, people are discriminated against because of sexual preference or religion. Politics can change law...but only if enough people cry out for it.

I am not saying you should preach.  I am saying we all should talk about things that are important and be mature enough to let others also share their opinions.  Then vote to make decisions that change laws regarding the "Big Three". If you don't talk about it, you stay ignorant.  Yes, ignorant.  And ignorant people can be (and are) controlled. Is that what you want? Don't you care if you have the freedom to love who you want and believe how you want?  As long as you can discuss lasagna recipes is it okay for other people to decide for you? But, just talking isn't enough.  You also need to vote. Otherwise, your talk is just hot air.
Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." I think she had something there, and I don't think she meant ideas for creating new chicken casseroles.

Don't be afraid to discuss things that are important. Our quality of life depends on it. If you don't, you could quite possibly find yourself living under laws that limit your freedom and happiness because it was more important discussing Tom Cruise's latest divorce than making sure all people's happiness and freedoms are protecting and ensured. Trust me, there are plenty of people talking right now about laws they either want to make or make sure DON'T get made in order to keep rights and happiness from others.

You think your opinion doesn't matter?  Those that want to keep people from being all that they can be are counting on you believing that.  They want you to shut up and party, ignore the fact that they want to force their prejudices and agendas into laws and make you dance according to their rules. Your opinion matters, but only if you speak it often, clearly, and allow opposition to speak theirs. Many times allowing opposition to speak showcases exactly why your opinions may be better. And sometimes, minds are changed.  Maybe theirs.  Maybe yours. Change can be good, when it is done freely and knowingly, instead of being made because nobody spoke up.

I say, let discussions ring about sex, religion, and politics. In the light of day, bigotry and hate show their ugliness and empowered minds began to reason. So, what say you? Are you going to spend the summer discussing new drink recipes, or will you begin talking about how we can ensure that those in charge hear our voices on subjects that really matter?  How many great minds will decide to no longer be silenced, before it is too late?