What a day this has been. As a writer, I try to keep my emotions under control. I tell myself that one person loving my book does not make it a classic, and that one person hating my book would not make it trash that should not have been published. Sometimes, I almost succeed.
It is hard to not take things personally, because when you write a novel, you put time, heart, and soul into the work. The book becomes a part of you. The same is also true for painting. Therefore, I have two things I can fixate on, worrying about if they are not "good enough" or if people will "hate" me.
Why do I even paint or write? Well, because I have to. Because I know deep inside that I love the things I create, even if no one else were to. But, still. Back and forth those emotions go.
Today, I spoke to my older brother. Last week he loved my book. This week, after finishing it, he was not sure. There are so very graphic, emotionally exhausting parts to my book. Some of it is hard to read. But, I am told, all of it is compelling. He could not put the book down. That is a good sign.
Not every read is supposed to be "happy". I want to make people feel. I guess I am doing that. I hear over and over that people can't put it down, and that they cannot get Gastien out of their mind once they are done. Gastien becomes real for them.
Still, I was worried about my brother's response. Maybe the book sucked. I am waiting for several reviews from "reviewers" and I have been scared. This is all new to me. Today, the first review came in. I was almost afraid to open the email.
4 Stars! She said 4/5 actually. She said she loved the book! My emotions are back on top again-just like a manic depressive. Here is her review, if you want to read it: https://www.facebook.com/Bookiesfan She also made it her "WOW Wednesday" book. I am blessed, at least in this instant.
So, are writers neurotic? In short, yes. Definately, yes.