Thursday, October 27, 2011

In Love With Being In Love

The whole world has gone crazy over being in love.  Most songs you hear have lyrics about it.  Most books and movies have at least some love scenes.  Is this the same thing as love?

Being in love and loving are two completely different things.  I read somewhere that being in love is all about how the other person makes you feel.  Loving, on the other hand, is all about what you can do for the other person. In love is selfish.  Loving is selfless.

Real love between two people has little to do with sex, romance, or thrills.  Real love is when the two of you can sit together and becide which bills don't get paid and not fight.  It is holding back the hair of the person you love while they puke.  Real love is seeing the other for the ahole that they sometimes are, and liking them anyway.

In a relationship, you are extremely lucky if you have both.  For anything to last long term, and be happy, you need real love, but it is even better if you have both.  People don't get how "in love" works, though. That is why it is so rare that people stay together.  Most marry because they are in love.  When that ebbs, the people move on, looking once again for that thrilling feeling, not understanding that those feelings can't be there all of the time.  The chemicals released by those feelings would kill you if they were always there.  It is a scientific fact.

However, that does not mean that when it takes a break it won't come back.  Any long term, happy couple will tell you that there are times (sometimes months or years) when the thrills seems to leave, but contentment is present.  Then, the sexual excitement comes roaring back (sometimes, again, for months or a few years) only to ebb again.  If we were always feeling like honeymooners, nothing would get done but lovemaking!

It is too bad that pop culture only worships the thrill.  The thrill is so wonderful that it really does not need any advertisment at all.  Once you feel it, you get it.  No song needs to tell you about it. But real love?  That is what should be sung about, written about, celebrated.

When someone loves another to put aside their needs for awhile to help that other person achieve theirs, when one gives up family, friends, and moves for another's job or emotional needs; when one helps another face death...that is truly what we should worship!

How wonderful to be truly loved; how much more wonderful to truly love someone!

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